Now That I’ve Had This Coffee I Can Die in Peace

I love coffee. Plain coffee with a spot of half and half, pronounced haaaf and haaaf where I live. No sugar. I’ve never gone in for all those girly coffees with the cutsie names and the fattening additives. Just gimme a coffee ‘regulah’ no sugar, please.

Until today. Today my mind has been forever changed. Changed for the first time in years, and by the evil purveyor of coffee on every corner in the world, Starbucks. Starbucks, which happens to be next door to my local Trader Joes. My beloved Trader Joes that has run out of cups and had no free coffee this morning. Can you believe it? Neither could I. Harumph.

Because TJs let me down, I had to go to Starbucks for coffee. My daughter was with me, and she wanted the girliest girly drink of all, the Peppermint Mocha Latte. Bah! But then I saw something on the menu that caught my eye and I wanted to taste it. I wanted in bad. I was reeled in by those damn Seattleites with their adorable chick coffees. Yes, I ordered a Venti Gingerbread Latte. And it was good.

Not just good good. GOOOOOOD good. Like you wanted to get down on your knees and pray to the Gods of Mt. Hood for creating Seattle who begat Starbucks who begat the latte who begat the gingerbread latte, nectar of the Gods. That’s how good it is. OK, it’s ridiculously overpriced. It probably has 1000 calories in a Venti. I’m afraid to go to the Starbucks site and check. And if you do, don’t tell me. I honestly don’t want to know. I’ll cry when I find out how fattening it is. OK I won’t. It was 530 calories. I will never eat again. I’ll just be drinking these Lattes. But I’ll be very very happy.